Thursday 31 July 2014

घर

एक घर की तलाश में,
कहीं दूर निकल जाता हूँ,
कभी पहाड़, कभी नदिया, तो कभी खुले मैदान में,
नीले आकाश तले खुद को पाता हूँ

चलता ही रहता हूँ,
क्यों न रुक पाता हूँ,
और जो कभी थक जाऊँ,
तो क्यों न झुक पाता हूँ,

यूँ तो,
इन रास्तों की,
खूब पहचान रखता हूँ,
फिर जाने क्यों,
खुदको इनसे अनजान रखता हूँ

चाहों में भी,
अनचाहा सा मैं,
राहों में भी,
बेराहा सा हूँ

सोचता हूँ की अपनी देह में,
एक इंसान रखता हूँ मैं,
आज अपनी अज्ञानता पर,
बड़ा अभिमान रखता हूँ मैं

जो टूट जाऊँ तो,
खुद में  समा जाता हूँ,
अपनी इस अनंत भूक में,
अपनों को ही खा जाता हूँ

और फिर चल पड़ता हूँ,
एक घर की तलाश में,
दो गज़ ज़मीन का शौक कहाँ मुझे,
एक आलिशान बंजर की आस में

पर क्यों न देख पाता हूँ,
एक घर, जो मुझमे बस्ता है,
एक दिल है सीने में,
जो कबसे धड़कने को तरसता है

क्यों आँसू पीना,
मैंने सीख लिया,
क्यों मुस्कराहट बिन जीना,
मैंने सीख लिया

क्यों एक आग सा भड़कने को,
मैं ललायित नहीं हूँ,
क्यों एक नए आज की खोज में,
मैं उत्साहित नहीं हूँ

सूरज की चमक से,
अब रात प्यारी लगती है,
क्यों अब सिर्फ,
इस अकेलेपन से यारी लगती है

पलटने से मुझे,
अब क्यों डर लगता है,
टिप टिप कर रिस्ता हुआ ये जीवन,
मुझे क्यों अमर लगता है

क्यों सपना देखना,
अब छोड़ देता हूँ,
क्यों हर ख्वाब को,
खुदसे निचोड़ देता हूँ

और फिर निकल पड़ता हूँ,
एक घर की तलाश में,
नदियों को लांघता हुआ,
दरिया की प्यास में

क्यों न समझता हूँ,
वह घर, मुझमे ही तो बस्ता है,
वह घर आज,
फिर धड़कने को तरसता है।



Wednesday 4 June 2014

Kaise tumhara din interesting banaayein?

Batao kya karein,
kahan lekar jaayein,
Kis gali mein mudein,
Kis sheher mein tumhe ghumaayein,
Yun udaas si jo baithi ho,
Dekh tumhe baahar,
aasmaan ko bhi rona aaye...

Chalo fir,
Ek khwaahish karo aaj,
Fir ud chale,
Usse poora kar aayein,
Tum bolo toh ek baar,
Iss ruki thaki zindagi mein tumhari,
Fir nayi bahaarein laayein...

Inn garm subaahon ko exchange karein,
Sard hawaaon se,
Aur muskurahatein bujhi si utha,
Chalo khilkhilati hasi se unhe
replace kar aayein...

Apni desk par baithe baithe,
Bor ho rahi hogi,
chalo chupke se bahar nikle,
Aur bina bataye kisiko,
Kahi ghoom kar aayein,
Bas ek baar haan kardo,
Inn baadlon ko bana,
Apni magic carpet fir,
Chalo kahin,
Apne pahaadi sapnon mein,
Hum tehel aayein...

Batao toh zara,
Ab kya karein,
Kaise tumhara din interesting banaayein?

Monday 21 April 2014

Sewn

Have you ever seen love,
Floating in the air,
As she seems busy playing the guitar,
While I stare.

And every tune that emerges,
From her finger tips,
Presents a new reason to my words,
For coming alive.

But it's not only us in this cafe,
'cause i see them too,
Sitting across her,
In that cozy corner.

Passing smiles and kisses,
In between coffee and breads,
Then checking if anybody noticed them,
By turning their heads.

I did,
All three of them,
Through the warmth of my tea,
I'm exactly where I need to be.

Midst their love,
And my words,
And the sounds,
Of her guitar.

They might be a bit out of tune,
But do you see that thread,
Which has sewn,
These four travelers,
Of different destinies,
Together; for a moment.

Friday 21 March 2014

Ek Nayi Shuruaat



Rail gaadi ki chuk chuk sun,
Jaagein hain aaj,
Naya station aaya hai,
Naya khayaal bhi sang laya hai,
Ek gaana aur likh daalo aaj,
Ek safar aur kar daalo aaj...

Manzilein aaj musaafiron mein,
Tabdeel ho gayi hain,
Aur musaafir bane,
Fir rahe hain hum,
Ab kya koi darr humein,
Jhakjhorega,
Ab gam ka kaunsa karwaan,
Hum par apne nishaan chhodega ...

Khushiyon se mulaqat,
Hui hai aaj,
Jo ek nayi subah sang,
Faila liye iss panchi ne apne parwaaz,
Ud chalenge kahin,
Ab toh poora jahaan apna hai,
Beeta hua kal ek band kitaab hai,
Aur aane waala kal ek sapna hai...

Haath mein apne,
Bas ek aaj hai dost,
Toh chalo,
Ab isi par apni ek nayi daastaan likhte chalein,
Ek nayi shuruaat hai apni,
Chalo sang chalein ... 

Monday 10 March 2014

Did you ask her name?

And did you ever see her eyes,
Saw them dream the dreams,
Which were bigger than you and me,
Did you see,
That day when she jumped off the roof,
To live a death so beautiful,
As her life could never be.

Did you hear her last words,
That last song she sang,
Of wonders beyond,
Beyond we could imagine,
She went there to live them,
She wasn't scared,
But sacred,
Like we could never be.

So tell me,
Did you,
Did you ever ask her,
Her name?
The most beautiful character,
Of the story you're yet to write,
The most intriguing character,
Of the most painful story,
You'll ever read.

Did you? 

Monday 10 February 2014

I'm at peace

The birds fly to their nest, 
I keep digging the soil, 
Killing the pest, 
I die every night, 
To create this morning light, 
I live every winter,
To give you the spring,
But what do I bring,
for myself?

I fly across the sky,
To quell your fear,
When the end is nigh,
And I float across the ocean,
Killing this commotion,
That riddles your heart,
But who kills mine,
You ask?

You see,
I'm at peace,
And every piece,
of Mine,
Is now a bloodshed,
I endured a long time ago,
I felt too much once,
To feel anything anymore,
For I'm at peace,
While you still wonder what's in the store.

Sunday 2 February 2014

An anecdote from Deh-lee

Some days,
I walk these empty roads,
Full of empty souls,
Where I saw them build minarets,
Over dried up shoals.

Tell me o'brother,
Do they face west too?
You ask,
I wonder,
Putting all my thoughts to task.

And then,
I see the dark sky,
And no stars shining by,
Just a moon,
That stares into an abyss.

I see all this,
And much more,
In the eighth city,
Built over the dead bodies,
Of past seven.

As I walk,
Midst,
These crushed dreams,
Giving rise to a bag full of stories,
Bursting at the seams. 

Thursday 30 January 2014

My heart is broken tonight

My heart is broken tonight, 
And it's not the best kind of feelings, 
You know, 
The stars are still shining, 
In the beautiful dark sky, 
The earth I walk on,
It is still wet and soft,
The songs I listen,
Still talk about love,
I believe in,
And then there's a heartbeat I had,
which appears missing.

My eyes are wet tonight,
And her memories are littered,
In front of me,
You know,
I can pick any of them,
And they'll happily act,
As a catalyst,
Kick starting this chemical reaction,
Where I'll self-combust,
Slowly turning into dust,
Of depression,
As I search for that solitary tear,
That will finally drown me,
which appears missing.

My heart is still broken,
My eyes are still wet,
My tears are still missing,
Along with the heartbeat,
That sang her name,
I feel like tonight,
I'm part of some game,
This universe plays,
With all of us,
It makes us smile,
And the moment we start losing,
Ourselves,
It snatches what it gave,
It wants us to run,
After what we love,
Making us desperate,
This state,
That we hate,
NO matter how much,
It needs to happen,
Because we need to know,
That this sorrow,
Which I feel,
Which you felt,
Is something with which we grow.

Wednesday 29 January 2014

An act of God

Heart breaking into hundred pieces, 
With each travelling far into, 
The past memories, 
Gathering all the pains, 
To revel in them.

And then, 
A solitary one, 
Breaking free, 
And flying away,
Into the land of hope. 

Ensuing a battle, 
Of Pains versus the ray of hope, 
In a tunnel so dark, 
That your escape, 
Becomes an act of God.

Tuesday 28 January 2014

Kahaani kuch dino ki

Ab yunhi mohabbat ki hai, 
log kehte hain sharaarat ki hai, 
Main kehta hun, 
Teri ibaadat ki hai, 
Ek baar fir, 
Naa jaane kitne khudaaon ko rutha kar, 
EK nayi aadat ki hai ...

Pehli baar mila tha tujhse
Sardiyon ke ek din... 

Tujhe fir jaana tha, 
Tujhme khud ko maine fir pehchaana tha, 
Tum Jaise ek kahaani thi, 
Aur tumhe dharaa maan, 
Apni bhi ek likhti jaani thi ... 

Aur jab doosri baar mila, 

Toh Dekha tha tumhe,
muskuraate hue...

Maano tabaah sheher fir muskuraane lage,
Soye hue fakir fir gungunaane lage,
Halchal kabron mein bhi machi thi,
Charon taraf machi ek khusnuma khalbali thi...

Bhoot sakpakaye,
Poochein unki basti mein ye pari kaun aayi thi,
khandaron mein nayi hawaayein jo layi thi,
Jinn bhi hairaan pareshaan ghoome the,
Aur kayi puraane kisse uss shaam fir jhoome the...

Ek kissa tumhara bhi tha,
Jo zabaan par daba reh gaya,
Fir dhalta suraj kuch aur laal hua tha,
Tab mere dil ko yahi khayaal hua tha,

Jab dekh tha tumhe,
muskuraate hue ...

Fir teesri baar woh ek kissa, 
aur na daba paaya tha, 
woh ek gaana tha, 
Puraana sa, 
Tujhse dil laga kar, 
Uss gaane ka matlab ab samajh aaya tha ... 

Khush tha main kitna,
yaad hai tumhe? 
Shaam thi, 
Chehelpehel thi, 
Sheher purana fir naya tha, 
Mera haath thaam tum chali jaa rahi thi, 
Baat na jaane kitni kahe jaa rahi thi, 
Main sunta tha, 
Muskurata tha, 
Fir tum meri poochti, 
Aur ek tak nihaar sab sunti jaati,
Kaun sunta hai aise mujhe, 
Kyun sunti ho aise mujhe, 
"Achcha lagta hai, tumhe sunte jaane" 
Itna keh muskura deti... 

Fir chauthi baar mila, 
Ek kitaab liye baitha tha, 
Ussi ke peeche se 
na jaane kaise nikal kar aayi thi tum, 
Khud ek kitaab ban, 

Mera, Uss kitaab ko padhne ko jee karta hai aaj, 
Uss kitaab ki har kahaani, 
Har kissa, 
Uss kitaab ki har nishaani, 
Har hissa, 
Padhne ko jee kata hai... 

Kitaab ke har panne par likhe, 
Har khwaab,
Har dard, 
Har muskurahat, 
Har beeti raat ki tilmilahat, 
Har nayi subah ki pehli aahat, 
Padhne ko jee karta hai...

kitaab mein chipe raaz, 
uske alag alag andaaz, 
Padne ko jee karta hai... 

Jo aansoo ki kuch, 
boondein dabi hain usme, 
Unhe sehla kar mita dene ka jee karta hai...

Aur kabhi ji karta hai uss kitaab ko
liye baitha rahun, 
Usse dekhun, 
Fir sochun, 
Ki iss kitaab mein aisi kya khasiyat hai,
Jo isse harr baar padhne ka jeet karta hai... 

Fir muskuraun, 
Aur kuch panne palat jaun, 
Jo Tumhe padhne ko aaj fir jee karta hai...

Fir kayi aur baar mila..

Kabhi inhi sadkon par, 
Kabhi sapno mein, 
Aur ek shaam kal ki bhi thi... 

Tum thodi naraaz thi, 
mujhse nahin, 
Iss zindagi se, 
Aur main bas har lamha, 
tumhe churaane ko ji banaa raha tha, 
Inn sabse, 
Kahin duur le jaane ko ji banaa raha tha, 
Inn sabse, 
Le jaata, 
Agar fir jo haath thaam leti, 
Par khud mein hi itni khoyi thi tum, 
Ki shayad mujhe bhool gayi thi, 
Tumhari harr jhunjhlahat, chillahat piye jaa raha tha, 
Aur isi soch mein jiye jaa raha tha, 
Ki ek pal mudkar dekhogi, 
Muskuraogi, 
Par,
Har pal sapna thodi na hota hai, 
Aur agar sapna bhi ho,
Toh Woh apna thodi na hota hai ... 

Fir shaam zara chup si nikal gayi, 
Aur tumhaare jaane ka samay hua tha, 
Tumhe rok main poocha, 
"Suno agle hafte milogi?" 
"Nahin agle hafte toh nahin ho payega?" 
"Kyun?" 

Ye prashn mere zehen se toot, 
Jaise uss lamhe mein ghul gaya tha, 
Main jawaab ke intezaar mein, 
Tumhe dekhe jaa raha tha, 
uss pal mein na jaane, 
Kitni khwaahishein sameta, 
Khud ko paa raha tha 

Fir dheeme se tumne bola, 
"Agle hafte shaadi ke liye ladka dekhne jaana hai." 

Neend nahin aayi kal raat, 
Jaise sapna har toota tha, 
Har katra uski muskurahat ka, 
Jaise meri hatheliyon se choota tha, 
Fir phone baja mera, 
Ussi ka tha... 

Ek pal ke liye man kiya, 
Na uthaun, 
Kambal taan so jaun, 
Kya rakha hai pyaar mein, 
Bas ek khuda hai jo kabhi kabhi rooth jaata hai, 
Aur ek mera dil hai, 
Saala hamesha toot jaata hai ... 

Par fir bhi, 
khud ki rok na paaya, 

"Suno Abhinav, ek kaam karoge?" 

"Haan bolo?" 

"MUjhe bhaga le jao..." 

"kya?"

Haan,

Nahin raha jaata aise, 
Ghut ghut ke, 
Chura le jaao, 
inn sabse, 

Suno, tum aaoge na? 
Apne sang le jaaoge na? 
Itna ghumte ho, 
Mujhe bhi ghuma lao, 
Hamesha ke liye, 
Kahin pahaadon par jayenge,
Wahin bas jayenge, 
Tum kitaabein likhna, 
Main padhungi, 

Ab darr lagta hai, 
Mujhe inn sabse, 
Sab jaise khaane ko daudte hain, 
Bas tumhare sang jo lamhe beete hain, 
Wohi inn sabse bachaane ko daudte hain... 


Bolo,
Aaj yehi ek sapna dekhti hun,
Isse apna karoge?

Saturday 11 January 2014

What is love according to me?

So today, a friend randomly asked me, What is love according to you? 

I never thought about this but,

Being mushy, writing poetry, singing songs, those soft whispers, inside jokes, kissing, cuddling, feeling of happiness, that chirpiness all the time when they're around, that dreamy sense, your world becoming better, some songs becoming more special, doing stuff to make them feel special all the time, talking for hours, holding hands, writing letters, love notes....etc. 

Well all this is BULLSHIT, frankly speaking, I/we can do this with/for anyone we are a little bit close to. 

For me love is when reality hits, after all that initial excitement dies. Those days when you don't feel in love with them, those days when they irritate the hell out of you, those days when you'd love to be with anyone in the world except them. 

Love is making them believe that you love them on those particular days. 

Love is arguments, love is fighting, love is also forgiving. Love is forgiving them all the time, love is finally realizing that you're not the only person entitled to make mistakes. Love is realizing that they're the ones that matter more than the mistakes they make. Love is suffering for them once you've realized they're worth suffering for. 

Love is realizing that they'll not be with you forever, because 'Together Forever' happens only in one scenario, when you both die at the same moment. So, love is making peace with the fact that they'll go away one day, and then living as if that might happen the next moment. 

Love is making efforts to make them believe, make yourself believe that something like 'Love' exists. 

To be fair, Love is sheer HARDWORK. 

So, until you're ready to do all that hardwork for someone, don't tell them that you love them. 

Monday 6 January 2014

Dilli ek Tilism



He walked out of a bustling Chandni chowk metro station, with sweat drops finding their ways under his cotton shirt as he walked through the dark alley leading him to a Dahi bhalla shop. It seemed stuck in a corner of some unknown era, somehow finding its way into the present. Natraj, they called it, ‘my favourite eatery’ he started calling it thereafter.

It was his first time in the mystifying land of Chandni Chowk. That’s what he told his new friends while sitting on the terrace of Indian coffee house, turning the pages of Delhi’s most fascinating chapter, Connaught Place. It was a change from the previous six years he spent in Pune, few of it were spent dreaming about Delhi. Everyone looked different, colorful, overdressed, joyful, loud, and ‘welcome to Delhi’, they all seemed to be saying.

The ones, who filled up his dreams with Delhi’s colorful strangeness, which he observed while strolling through the narrow lanes of Hauz Khas Village before stumbling on to a pretty girl playing piano in the Elma’s bakery.

He saw her again, while eating an ice cream in the rain. She was drenched, he was dreamy, while Rajpath was filled with the sweet aroma of first showers and his camera was full of pictures that captured the carnival mood.

The carnival mood, which carried him back to that Sunday he spent listening to Dastangoi at NSD with strangers, but none looked like one. They all smiled at him, just like that first day at Old Delhi Railway station, when at 5 AM he saw Delhi wake up to the rhythm of incoming trains. Each carried many new dreams like his, the dreams that built up this magic.

“What magic?” she asked.

“Magic, that is Delhi,” he said while ordering another bottle of butterscotch shake at Keventers.

Train To Shimla: an act



[Scene starts at kalka station, I reached there in Kalka howrah mail, there was this girl sitting near me in the train and I kept staring at her all night, before I fell asleep. And got up to find out that my train has reached kalka, from where I had to catch kalka-shimla toytrain. I am running late, I run towards the train and barely catch it.]

Then…

And I entered the train, moments before it left the platform. Only to look up and greeted by a carriage full of half-asleep people. As I evaluate the whole situation, I see her, sitting in a corner, lost in her thoughts and this guy besides me plays a song, on his phone. I wonder why he doesn’t use headphones?

I keep staring at her, without realizing that I’m still standing at the door, and the train slowly chugs towards the mountains as the same song plays again.

I put my bag down, and think about making a move towards her, as the guy plays the same song for the third time in a row. Is he a weirdo? I stare at her…

As there, she sits by the window,
Watching raindrops creating shapes on the pane,
And here I am standing at the door
embracing this early morning rain …

Rain of thoughts,
And whatnots,
I have lots,
To Say,
But to my dismay,
She’s there,
10 rows away,
I want to go,
Sit beside her,
But I can’t move,
My legs are jammed,
Oh god I’m damned…

And the song goes on for the fifth time…

I stare at her,
She stares at the clouds,
There’s a thunder,
Brewing in the sky,
I know I need to talk to her,
Before these moments die,
But I can’t move,
And the only seat left in the carriage,
Is besides that girl,
A commotion inside me,
Starts to whirl,
Stations come stations go,
And I stand by the door,

Then tunnels come,
With moments dark,
Where I’m left alone,
To wonder and wander,
In my thoughts,
Until I’m again,
Hit by the light,
While I continue fighting,
This long-existent fight

Abhinav, are you going up to her,
Or not,
Abhinav, are you forgetting this other
Half of you forgot,
Abhinav, this is your chance,
An opportunity you always missed,
Abhinav, this is just a trap,
You’re just a fucking loser, like everyone always hissed,
Abhi, No one loves you, don’t you forget,
Abhi, don’t listen to him, or you’ll regret

That same song for the 27th time, the idiot just can’t get enough of it, it’s playing with my head … 

And there comes the second last station,
Summer hill,
This time I know I will,
Yes, I know,
And I make my mind,
With courage I seldom find
To sit beside her,
I find her looking at me,
I stare into her eyes as far as I could see,
And then she smiles,
I have words inside me,
I have sentences and stories too,
Oh but where did they disappear?
As I am again gripped by a fear,
Why can’t I speak,
That you’re so beautiful,
Why can’t I ask,
Your name that I guessed,
So many times,
As I stood by the door,
Fiddling with my rhymes …

I sit there,
Gaping for words,
For the best conversations,
I had all day long,
With her,
In my head,
To say,
All that I’ve already said,
But she never heard,
I never heard,
The sound of hustle,
Shimla is here,
Midst all this rhythmic bustle,
The guy has stopped playing that song,
And it won’t be long,
When he’ll be gone,
And she’ll be too,
She’s already leaving,
As I’m standing aside to make some way,
In my head, I hold her hand,
Making her stay,
But she’s slowly walking,
Towards the door,
She’s getting down,
In some time, she won’t be there,
Anymore,
I stand by the train,
Watching her leave,
I know it is my moment,
As I hear that same old line,
Ringing in my head,
Will I finally listen to it,
Or once again ignore what it said,
That line ringing in my head

“Are you gonna walk up to her, or stand here?”
“Are you gonna walk up to her, or stand here?”
“Are you gonna walk up to her, or stand here?”
“Are you gonna walk up to her, or stand here?”

And I …