Train To Shimla: an act

[Scene starts at kalka station, I reached there in Kalka howrah mail, there was this girl sitting near me in the train and I kept staring at her all night, before I fell asleep. And got up to find out that my train has reached kalka, from where I had to catch kalka-shimla toytrain. I am running late, I run towards the train and barely catch it.]

Then…

And I entered the train, moments before it left the platform. Only to look up and greeted by a carriage full of half-asleep people. As I evaluate the whole situation, I see her, sitting in a corner, lost in her thoughts and this guy besides me plays a song, on his phone. I wonder why he doesn’t use headphones?

I keep staring at her, without realizing that I’m still standing at the door, and the train slowly chugs towards the mountains as the same song plays again.

I put my bag down, and think about making a move towards her, as the guy plays the same song for the third time in a row. Is he a weirdo? I stare at her…

As there, she sits by the window,

Watching raindrops creating shapes on the pane,

And here I am standing at the door

embracing this early morning rain …

Rain of thoughts,

And whatnots,

I have lots,

To Say,

But to my dismay,

She’s there,

10 rows away,

I want to go,

Sit beside her,

But I can’t move,

My legs are jammed,

Oh god I’m damned…

And the song goes on for the fifth time…

I stare at her,

She stares at the clouds,

There’s a thunder,

Brewing in the sky,

I know I need to talk to her,

Before these moments die,

But I can’t move,

And the only seat left in the carriage,

Is besides that girl,

A commotion inside me,

Starts to whirl,

Stations come stations go,

And I stand by the door,

Then tunnels come,

With moments dark,

Where I’m left alone,

To wonder and wander,

In my thoughts,

Until I’m again,

Hit by the light,

While I continue fighting,

This long-existent fight

Abhinav, are you going up to her,

Or not,

Abhinav, are you forgetting this other

Half of you forgot,

Abhinav, this is your chance,

An opportunity you always missed,

Abhinav, this is just a trap,

You’re just a fucking loser, like everyone always hissed,

Abhi, No one loves you, don’t you forget,

Abhi, don’t listen to him, or you’ll regret

That same song for the 27^th time, the idiot just can’t get enough of it, it’s playing with my head … 

And there comes the second last station,

Summer hill,

This time I know I will,

Yes, I know,

And I make my mind,

With courage I seldom find

To sit beside her,

I find her looking at me,

I stare into her eyes as far as I could see,

And then she smiles,

I have words inside me,

I have sentences and stories too,

Oh but where did they disappear?

As I am again gripped by a fear,

Why can’t I speak,

That you’re so beautiful,

Why can’t I ask,

Your name that I guessed,

So many times,

As I stood by the door,

Fiddling with my rhymes …

I sit there,

Gaping for words,

For the best conversations,

I had all day long,

With her,

In my head,

To say,

All that I’ve already said,

But she never heard,

I never heard,

The sound of hustle,

Shimla is here,

Midst all this rhythmic bustle,

The guy has stopped playing that song,

And it won’t be long,

When he’ll be gone,

And she’ll be too,

She’s already leaving,

As I’m standing aside to make some way,

In my head, I hold her hand,

Making her stay,

But she’s slowly walking,

Towards the door,

She’s getting down,

In some time, she won’t be there,

Anymore,

I stand by the train,

Watching her leave,

I know it is my moment,

As I hear that same old line,

Ringing in my head,

Will I finally listen to it,

Or once again ignore what it said,

That line ringing in my head

“Are you gonna walk up to her, or stand here?”

“Are you gonna walk up to her, or stand here?”

“Are you gonna walk up to her, or stand here?”

“Are you gonna walk up to her, or stand here?”

And I …